The experience of motherhood is an experience that enables us to grow and enjoy in equal parts. This does not mean that it is also a Ferris wheel of emotions; it is a crucial stage where we must learn to control the emotions of happiness, tiredness, changes, and expectations accompanying motherhood. As a result, motherhood can either be a feeling of overwhelming fulfillment or a stage in which both types can be present.
Although while we wait for the baby, we sense the changes that are coming, and we think we are preparing for them, it has been proven that when those changes are realized, people often feel overwhelmed. Although a baby’s arrival is a great source of joy and excitement, it destroys routines and priorities, leaving us “upside down.”
As with all processes of similar importance, it takes time to adapt to the changes that are taking place. Feeling destabilized by such an enormous change does not indicate that we are unprepared.
Our role as mothers adds an important dimension to our lives, and seeking balance can seem impossible, especially during the first months. But finding balance is essential to fully enjoy motherhood.
How to Face Motherhood
There are as many ways to face motherhood as fathers or mothers. However, there are certain issues that we must keep in mind, especially if we do not wish to experience too frequent or intense moments of anxiety and confusion.
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Do not try to fit into external criteria
During motherhood, pressures and prejudices can be overwhelming. Stereotypes and criticism create a strict line separating what is good and what is bad. What makes a good or a bad mother? Do not fall into such absurdity… in any case, the pediatrician is responsible for determining whether something is right or wrong.
The focus should not be on what motherhood should be but rather on what motherhood means to you personally. It is important to give your motherhood meaning because if it is based on external criteria, you will struggle to feel good and in tune with what you are doing. Motherhood is based on love, and real love is always natural. Therefore, follow your instincts and criteria, and you will probably find the best mother for your child based on your definition.
Responsibility for stewardship
Despite their differences, both parents are equally capable, necessary, and competent. If we assume that both parents want the best for their child, why don’t mothers delegate tasks to their spouses and fully trust them to manage the situation?
It is often the case that women assume all the responsibilities of motherhood without allowing parents to be involved in the same way in raising and caring for their children. This is unfair. However, we complain. Occasionally, our partner does not appear to have the necessary involvement.
Both these situations should not be held. Enough comfort and resignation. The responsibility of caring for the baby is not one person (if we are discussing two-parent families), and it is very important to ensure that this great responsibility is shared equally.
Make an assertive statement
You have a baby, and everyone seems to have not one but twenty master’s degrees in motherhood. If they have seen your baby for a short time, or if they have seen him for a long time, everyone knows what is best for him, regardless of how long they have seen him. They even take the liberty of correcting or criticizing you.
This will not stop happening if you do not set clear limits. It would be best if you did so as soon as possible. As well as meeting the baby’s needs, the parents are responsible for their physical and emotional well-being. To convey that your partner and you make the decisions, find a way to express clearly and politely those things that bother you. Protect your maternity with respect, and do not allow disrespect to disguise itself as advice or opinion.
Park the blame
New mothers often feel the emotion of guilt. Guilt for not being able to breastfeed, guilt for taking him to daycare, guilt for being late, guilt for getting sick, guilt for being sad…the list of guilt seems endless.
If you feel guilty, change it for responsibility and solutions. Guilt is not constructive. Often, it does not lead to positive results. If you believe you have made a mistake, try to do better next time. You cannot do anything about it, you have no responsibility, and there is no reason to feel guilty. If you feel sad, irritable, or do not enjoy motherhood… For. Analyze yourself. Seek assistance if necessary, and begin again.
I have some time for you
Mothering does not necessarily mean spending 24 hours a day with your child. Often, we do not allow ourselves to be separated from the baby because we do not believe it is necessary or that leaving the baby in the care of another makes us unacceptable parents. To succeed as a mother, we mustn’t lose sight of who we truly are as unique and independent individuals. We only need to learn to organize ourselves and adapt to the new challenges that we will face in the future. We should not give up our professional careers, friendships, partner, or leisure activities.
Mothers continue to be people, even when they are mothers. As mothers, we cannot give up on ourselves and stop taking care of ourselves. To feel good about ourselves as mothers, we must feel good about ourselves. Happy fathers and mothers raise happy children. It is a fact. Do not give up because even though motherhood is a precious and important experience, there is more to life than motherhood.
Beware of comparisons
It is commonly believed that maternity is a wonderful experience, an unforgettable experience that cannot be replicated. However, what is not told to us is that it is also a very difficult time during which everything changes. Therefore, we can feel that motherhood surpasses us, that it is not what we were expecting, and that we will not be able to deal with it… Feeling alone in this spiral of negative emotions while believing other mothers are beautiful, happy, and eat partridges.
It is sometimes true that all that glitters is not gold, but the important thing is that even if it is, it does not matter. Motherhood is a situation where you are yourself and your circumstances, so comparisons are not allowed. To cope with motherhood healthily, one must feel like the protagonist of their experience and give their best, forgetting about the rest. What other mothers do does not determine whether they are better or worse mothers. Motherhood is not a competition.
Check for more: Experts Advices